


Magenta Splashed with Peach

by fluffy_mittens



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Bisexual Josh Dun, Everyone Is Gay, Feelings Realization, Gay Tyler Joseph, M/M, Pink Haired Josh Dun, Sexuality Crisis, Synesthesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:20:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24311197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffy_mittens/pseuds/fluffy_mittens
Summary: Tyler has synaesthesia, and has just moved to a new school. Josh is a sweetheart!!
Relationships: Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. Orange and Grey

Tyler didn't think like other kids did. He didn't process things like them either.

He associated feelings with colours, instead of them just being feelings. Nobody understood him because he could never properly explain how he felt.

He tried to tell them through his music, his songs, but his family just got cross whenever he sang and nobody would listen. Even his friends, who would grudgingly accept his music and compliment him on his voice, didn't get it.

Maybe they did, but they just didn't care.

-

Tyler stared out the window as the car pulled up at the tall, brick building. Everything was black, with varying shades of grey. "Tyler, come on. You'll be late!" his mum snapped, opening the car door and ushering him out.

He kept his head down low as he shuffled up the steps into the main entrance. It was his first day at his new school, Trench Academy. He had come here on a basketball scholarship, but basketball was all lavender now. He ducked his head even lower and cowered beneath his shoulders. His mother glanced back at him, impatient.

Tyler knew he would be one of those navy kids who had no friends. He'd moved here at the start of grade 10, which meant everyone was already in their groups, splashed with violet. And he was even more navy than most new kids.

He followed his mum to the reception, tilting his head slightly to inspect the receptionist. She had a wide smile and a wide waist, and her eyes crinkled when she smiled.

Tyler decided she was pastel pink, mixed with strawberry. He gave a light grey smile.

"You're in homeroom 9red, love," the receptionist smiled.

Tyler's face dropped. Why was his homeroom red?? Red was bad, bad, bad.

"N-no, please-" he stammered, and the lady blinked. His mother frowned at him, and he shut his mouth quickly.

"Not your red," she hissed, and Tyler's face flushed fiery orange flecked with red. He wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole. He was so stupid; he should have remembered nobody else thought the way he did.

The woman gave him a look- yellow, splattered with dirty brown. Tyler felt sick.

He didn’t listen as his mum and the lady kept on talking. There was a buzzing in his ears, and he scrunched up his face. Everything was bright orange and dark grey, mixing in a huge swirling puddle.

Finally, the conversation ended and his mum ushered him out of the reception. He trudged behind her to his locker and shoved his bag inside, but managed to grab his notepad and pen out of it. His mum gave him a disapproving look. "Tyler, you're much too old for that. You don't even need it." she snapped, reaching for it.

Bright orange flashed again, and he jumped backwards, accidentally knocking into someone. The person stumbled away, catching Tyler as he fell.

"Woah, look out!" the person laughed, and Tyler glanced around to see a muscly boy with pink hair.

His breath caught- pink hair. Pink was good. His face lit up.

"Hi," he breathed. He couldn't stop staring at the boy's face. The boy grinned back. His tongue poked through his teeth.

"Tyler," his mum said crossly, and Tyler shoved his notepad and pen into his pocket, not looking at her. She gave a long, lime sigh, but didn't say anything.

The boy frowned, brown flecked with yellow. Then he gave Tyler a quick grin before hurrying off. Tyler watched him go, feeling a light grey blush rise up on his neck.

"Tyler, we have to get you to homeroom," his mum snapped, and he flinched. He ducked his head again, staring at the ground. The day had been all black so far, except for the pink-haired boy.

He followed his mum again, staring at his white sneakers. He'd wanted the pink ones, but his mum had refused.

Tyler's mum led him inside a large classroom, where a large group of students in his grade had gathered. They had already separated into small groups, chatting and laughing. The whole room was bright yellow and peach, and Tyler was black.

His mum was talking, but it was all background noise. He stumbled into a chair and slid down, focusing on breathing. He took out his notepad and pen, starting to scribble. His breathing began to ease.

Then, his mum reached down and grabbed his notepad. "Tyler, I told you no!" she hissed.

Tyler let out a soft noise, feeling his throat closing over. He clenched his fists shut, desperately trying to stop them from shaking. He was drowning in orange, brown, green- nausea roiled-

Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup, he begged in his mind. He slowly stood up and reached out for his notepad. "I-I need it," he managed to say shakily. His mum hesitated, then scowled and handed it back.

Tyler let go a trembling breath, the colour of roses, then flipped open his notepad and continued to write. He didn't even notice his mother leave. He was left alone in the cage.

Can you save, can you save my  
Can you save my heavydirtysoul  
Can you save, can you save my  
Can you save my heavydirtysoul  
For me, for me  
Can you save my heavydirtysoul  
For me, for me  
Can you save my heavydirtysoul

He murmured under his breath as he wrote, careful not to let anyone nearby hear. The song was lilac mixed with lavender.

Soon, a man walked in. He was wearing a suit and a scowl, and looked very maroon. "Welcome to 9red. My name is Mr Schutz," he announced loudly, as all the other students sat down at the groups of desks. Some people looked at Tyler curiously, but nobody sat next to him.

"I assume you have all put your bags in your designated lockers?" he asked, and the students nodded.

Tyler continued to write in his notepad, but it caught Mr Schutz's attention. "You there! What's your name?" he barked, glaring at Tyler.

He sucked in a breath, eyes going wide and flickering around the room, looking for an escape. There was so much orange, why did today have to be so orange??

"Well?"

"T-Tyler,"

"Well, Tyler, I expect you to pay attention while I am speaking," Mr Schutz snapped, then turned away. A ripple of laughter ran through the room, as Tyler blushed fiery orange. He felt tears spring to his eyes, and swallowed.

He didn't listen the entire homeroom session, but tried to look like he was. His hands itched to write more of the song, but he couldn't.

As soon as the bell rang, Tyler rushed out of the classroom and banged his against the wall of the corridor, quick enough that no one noticed. The pain anchored him, making him feel sky blue.

He took out his timetable that the strawberry receptionist had given him, and tried to make sense of it. He had…English now? In room B8.

Tyler hurried to his locker and grabbed the book with 'English' written across the top in his neat handwriting, and also his pencil case and computer bag. He then searched around until he found building B, too black and dark grey to ask anyone.

He turned up to the class 5 minutes late, and stumbled in through the door, fiery orange once again. This day has been just very orange so far, he thought glumly.

The teacher standing up the front, short with black hair, turned to him with a smile. "Hello," she offered, and Tyler blinked, light grey. "Sorry I'm l-late. I got lost," he stammered, rushing over to an empty desk up the front and sinking down.

The lesson continued, and the term outline was handed out. Tyler knew he should be concentrating, but there was too much orange and grey. Those didn’t go well together.

He turned slightly and surveyed the class, flicking over each of the students' faces. Suddenly, he spotted a flash of pink, and his face lit up when he saw the boy he had crashed into at the lockers.

The pink-haired boy was chatting animatedly to a boy with stylish black hair and a big forehead and a tall boy that looked indigo, and Tyler's smile drooped. Of course the boy already had friends- he wouldn't want to be friends with Tyler anyway.

He turned back to face the front, sinking even lower in his seat and taking out his notepad:

Where we're from, there's no sun  
Our hometown's in the dark  
Where we're from, we're no one  
Our hometown's in the dark  
Our hometown's in the dark


	2. Cobalt

The day descended into dark blue as it went on. Tyler sat alone at morning tea, eating his food slowly. He spent every class secretly writing in his notepad under his desk, feeling inspiration flooding him like a tsunami.

After English he had Maths, then History, then Art. At lunch, he sat on the bench outside his homeroom in silence, humming softly. Soon, lyrics joined the melody:

You are out of my mind, oh  
You aren't seeing my side, oh  
You waste all this time tryna get to me  
But you are out of my mind  
Heard you say, not today  
Tore the curtains down  
Window's open now make a sound  
Heard your voice, there's no choice  
Tore the curtains down  
Window's open now make a sound

"Wow, you have a really good voice."

Tyler spun around, stumbling backwards in shock. The pink-haired boy was standing there, with his two friends behind him. The boy grinned.

"You- you s-scared me," Tyler spluttered, clenching and unclenching his fists. "Sorry," the pink haired boy replied.

"S'okay," Tyler mumbled. Light green, light green.

"I'm Josh, by the way." the boy continued. "This is Brendon and Dallon."

The indigo boy nodded at him, and the bright yellow boy said, "Hey. Are you new?"

"Yeah. I'm Tyler."

LIGHT GREEN!

"That song sounded really good, did you write it yourself?" Josh asked, and Tyler's breath hitched. What if they found it weird that he wrote his own songs?

Josh was still watching him, waiting for an answer. Tyler swallowed, feeling the light green surge even more, then replied, "Yeah."

Josh's face lit up. "Wow, that's amazing!" he exclaimed, and Brendon raised his eyebrows, soft yellow. Tyler's mouth quirked up at the side, feeling like the colour of roses and twisting his fingers together.

Josh motioned behind him. "Do you want to sit with us?" he asked.

Tyler's face split into a grin. He felt magenta, which he hardly ever felt. "I-I'd like that," he breathed.

He picked up his lunchbox and followed Josh and his friends past a few buildings to a long bench. There was a large group of boys sitting at the table, and Josh walked up to them with a smile. "Guys, this is Tyler," he said, motioning.

The boys nodded at Tyler, some saying, "Hey." One boy with black hair and eyeliner announced, "I'm Pete, and this is Patrick. Welcome to Trench."

Tyler sat down, feeling like he was going to throw up, there was so much light green. Josh sat down next to him, launching into a conversation with the boy next to him. Brendon and Dallon sat down on Tyler's other side.

Tyler sat quietly, feeling indigo splash onto the light green. He finished his lunch, but hesitated to take out his notepad. Instead, he just stayed there, silent.

After a while, Josh turned to him. "I was wondering, what's in the notebook?" he asked, and Tyler bit his lip. "Just-just lyrics and stuff." he mumbled, and greenish grey flashed in Josh's eyes. "Can I see? It's fine if you say no, really." he said.

Tyler glanced away, hesitating, then nodded and took out his notepad. He flipped it open, feeling light grey, scanning through until he found the right song:

Sometimes we will die and sometimes we will fly away  
Either way you're by my side until my dying days  
And if I'm not there and I'm far away  
I said, don't be afraid  
I said, don't be afraid  
We're going home

Josh's eyebrows slowly raised as he read the lyrics, and Tyler twisted his fingers together manically. He felt the dark grey rolling around in his stomach, and he swallowed.

Finally, Josh glanced back up at Tyler, an astonished expression on his face. "This is amazing, Tyler!" he exclaimed, and Tyler flushed pinkish grey. "Thanks," he mumbled. "I was trying to make it dark purple and sky blue all at once."

Josh blinked.

Tyler realised what he'd said, and the world exploded bright orange. "I-I mean, not-not- what's the w-word? Uh- s-sad, and, um, c-calm." he spluttered, going pale. Fuck, he thought, feeling his limbs begin to tremble. How had he made such a stupid mistake?? He wasn't supposed to tell anyone else about his colours thing- he'd sworn to himself that he'd keep it a secret.

Fuck.

Tyler's breathing became jagged as he floundered, and he ducked his head between his legs. "Breathebreathebreathebreathe-" he muttered, sucking in tiny pockets of air as tears squeezed out of his eyes.

"Tyler, oh my gosh, Tyler are you ok??" he heard Josh ask, sounding bright orange too. The world was swaying through his slitted eyes, and he swallowed, feeling dizzy. His chest was still tight, and he took heaving breaths.

A warm hand rested on his back, and he concentrated on it as colours exploded in his mind. Orange, bright and blinding- grey, dark and gloomy- lilac, splashed with grey-

Suddenly the warm hands moved, grabbing Tyler and tugging him into an envelope of warmth. The smell of cinnamon and lilac grey filled Tyler's nostrils, and he breathed it in. Josh hugged him closer, protecting him from the world and giving him a mocha brown place to hide in.

Finally, Tyler's breathing returned to normal, and he pulled away from Josh, feeling light grey. "Thanks," he muttered, staring at his hands.

Josh held Tyler's hands in one of his own. "Don't worry," he replied.

Tyler smiled, pinkish grey.

"So, you…you said something about sky blue, or purple, or something?" Josh asked, pastel blue. Tyler felt bright orange again, but he gripped onto Josh's hand hard and forced it down. "Y-yeah," he stammered, hating the dark grey rising in his throat.

Josh looked soft green, like faded grass. "Do you have- what's the word? Syn…synestha, or whatever?" he asked.

Tyler blinked. "What?"

"I can't remember the word, but it's when you associate feelings with colours, or letters with colours. Or something like that."

Tyler was tumbling, plummeting from a cliff. "What?" he repeated.

He did have something wrong with him, but…

Crashing waves the colour of roses swirled in him. If it had a name, that meant others had it. Other people thought like he did- with greens and blues and reds and oranges instead of normal words.

"Synaesthesia! That's it!" Josh cried suddenly, snapping his fingers.

Tyler let out a choking laugh, and Josh glanced at him.

Synaesthesia.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked, sounding dark grey. Tyler shook his head. "I just…d-didn't know other people h-had it." he breathed.

Josh frowned. "Yeah. I think it's pretty rare, but people do have it, Tyler. It's not that weird, or anything. I think it's cool!" he exclaimed, and Tyler smiled, once again pinkish grey.

"At my old school, they…didn't think it was cool," he mumbled, and Josh frowned, cherry red. "Did they…bully you?" he asked, and Tyler shrugged. "It was just…" he hesitated, light green about saying his colours in front of other people.

But Josh had pink hair and he was peach and he made Tyler feel magenta.

"Greenish brown, and dark grey," he blurted out, flushing red. Josh instantly looked the colour of honey. "What does that mean?" he asked.

Tyler frowned, feeling bright orange again. "I-I…don't know the words." he mumbled, breath hitching.

Josh looked mauve, and Tyler immediately felt grape purple.

He racked his brains, searching for the words that he never remembered. "Greenish brown…b-bad, just bad, I think?" he offered, and Josh nodded, so, so peach.

"Dark grey is anxiety," he said, bright yellow. He knew that one.

"Wow," Josh grinned, still greenish grey. "And…do you see the colours? Imagine them? Or just feel them?"

Tyler bit his lip. "It's like…when it's really mustard yellow, I-I see it, but usually I just think them, in my mind," he explained. Gosh, his brain was hurting.

Josh frowned. "Mustard yellow?" he questioned, and Tyler flushed. "Strong," he replied quickly.

"Wow," Josh repeated, still staring at Tyler. Tyler couldn't help staring back, admiring Josh's face- his jawline, his soft lips, his eyes. His eyes were mocha, and Tyler searched for the word in his mind.

"Your eyes are the colour of safety," he blurted, then went bright red and stared at the ground. He heard Josh give a little giggle, slightly indigo, and felt grape purple again.

"Cool."


	3. Lemon Yellow

As soon as he got home that evening, Tyler flipped open his computer, feeling red violet. He typed ‘Synaesthesia’ into the search bar, then his mouth fell open in lemon yellow.

There were websites about synaesthesia, explaining what it was and how it worked. He scrolled down the page, finding the definition for synaesthesia:

Synesthesia is a condition in which one sense (for example, hearing) is simultaneously perceived as if by one or more additional senses such as sight. Another form of synesthesia joins objects such as letters, shapes, numbers or people's names with a sensory perception such as smell, color or flavor.

He felt tears spring to his eyes, rose coloured- he really wasn't alone. He pulled out his notepad quickly, jotting down some lyrics:

I'm fairly local, I've been around  
I've seen the streets you're walking down  
I'm fairly local, good people now  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

He hurried over to his piano and played some chords, until he worked out a good pattern- F#m, D, A and back to F#m. He pressed the keys gently, singing the lyrics under his breath.

He felt magenta and sky blue flooding his mind, and his face hurt from smiling. He had only ever told one person about his…synaesthesia. And that…that confession had gone very greenish brown.

Tyler shoved the thought away, and flopped down on his bed. He had a fluffy pink quilt, but a blue doona. Blue wasn't too bad, but pink was much better.

Tyler wondered if there was an emotion for each of his colours, and wracked his brains. The first colour that came to mind was black- he shivered. Black was- fast breathing, and not being able to move, and greenish brown. The word popped into his head- fear!

Tyler sat up, marigold orange. He rushed over to his computer, and searched for a list of emotions. He read over the words in his head, seeing what colours they matched with and scribbling them down.

He managed to get:

black=fear  
magenta=happiness  
fuchsia=love  
crimson=anger  
mulberry=sadness  
lemon=shocked  
dark grey=anxiety

But that was all.

Tyler bit his lip. Well, it was better than nothing.

He opened up an email to Josh and typed up the list, then pressed send. He held his breath, staring at the computer for a few minutes before Josh responded with:

oh wow, thanks!! i didn't know you went so deep into the actual shades of colours, like mulberry and lemon

Tyler hesitated, then replied:

Thanks for trying to understand, Josh.

The answer was instantaneous:

no problem!

Tyler let a light grey smile slip onto his face as he closed his computer and plugged it into the charger, falling back on his bed with a sigh. He had never felt so magenta, or strawberry.

He was magenta all through dinner, and his siblings kept giving him navy looks. He ignored them, feeling like he was floating on a cloud.

Everything was magenta.

-

Josh was waiting for Tyler at the school gates.

Nobody had ever done that before.

Tyler magenta and pink and grey swirling, and he smiled, light grey. "Hey!" Josh exclaimed. "Hey," Tyler replied quietly. He forgot to say goodbye to his mum, he was so caught up in Josh's face. He wished he could run his hands through that pink hair-

Tyler gave a sudden and violent shake of his head. Where had these thoughts come from?? Did they mean- they couldn't. Tyler wasn't- Tyler wasn't-

Bright orange surged, and Tyler let out a shaky breath. Then a warm hand linked with his, and he glanced up to see Josh standing even closer, looking like the colour of smoke.

"Tyler, you ok?" he asked, frowning. Tyler swallowed, nodding quickly. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." he stammered.

Josh bit his lip, but let it pass. "I saw your list last night! It was so cool! I thought blue would be sadness, and yellow would be happiness, but it's different for everyone, right?" he blathered, and Tyler let out a rose sigh as the words washed over him. He frowned, wincing as the words blue, sadness, yellow and happiness clashed.

"Sadness- sadness is when you- cry and stuff, right?" he asked, and Josh nodded confirmation. "I don't know, I've just always associated a dark…dry purple with mulb- sadness." Tyler replied, and Josh nodded, all greenish grey again.

He was always greenish grey towards Tyler.

"And y-yellow's just such a bright colour, it's…it's blinding, and that just seems, uh…" he searched for the word, "confident. Magenta is magenta. I-I mean, magenta's happiness."

"So how are you feeling at the moment?" Josh asked, the colour of honey. Tyler paused, then replied, "Magenta, and strawberry. You make me feel like that."

A blush erupted on his cheeks as he realised what he'd just said. "Magenta is happy, but what’s strawberry?" Josh asked, but interrupted again as Tyler opened his mouth. "Wait- wait- let me guess!"

Tyler hesitated, then shrugged. "Sure."

Josh bit his lip, concentrating as they shoved their bags in their lockers. "Strawberry…strawberry." he muttered. "Well, pink is happy, right? And strawberry is pink. So it's…cheerful? Comfortable?"

Tyler blinked, shock coming over his features. "C-comfortable, yeah," he stammered, taken aback that Josh had actually guessed it. Josh pumped his fist in the air, letting out a whoop. "Yeah!" he cried, and Tyler giggled.

"So I make you feel happy and comfortable?" Josh asked, and pink and grey exploded in Tyler as he ducked his head. "Y-yeah," he stuttered.

He nearly flinched as a warm arm was slung across his shoulders, and strawberry blossomed. He breathed in Josh's smell- cinnamon and strawberry, always. Josh's eyes, the colour of safety, stared into his own.

Tyler realised they had reached his homeroom, and he tore himself away from Josh. "Bye," he said, feeling mauve that he had to go. Josh grinned back, then left. Tyler entered his homeroom with a sigh, ducking his shoulders and sliding into an empty desk.

Suddenly, a boy with a chiselled jawline, messy black hair and a bright yellow aura sat down beside him. A boy with a big nose and an afro followed him. Tyler blinked.

"Hey, Tyler, right? I'm Frank. We met yesterday, at the lunch table?" the bright yellow boy explained, and Tyler's mouth quirked up at the side. "Oh, right," he mumbled. The boy with the afro sat down too, nodding at Tyler in a peach coloured way. "I'm Ray," he added.

"So, why did you move here in grade 9? Did you move houses, or just schools?" Frank asked, all honey and so much yellow. Too much yellow- it was so bright. "Uh- houses," he replied, light grey. "Cool!" Frank replied.

"Do you listen to any good music?" Ray questioned, and Tyler blinked, suddenly bright orange. What did good mean?? Was it rose, or pastel blue, or what??

"Uh, not really," he muttered, breathless. "Oh," Ray said, obviously mauve. The colour of grapes filled Tyler's mind. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"You're a boy, right? You use he/him?" Frank asked, and Tyler nodded quickly. "Yeah."

"So, how are you liking our beautiful school so far, Tyler?" Frank asked, grinning and waving his arms around at their surroundings. Tyler paused, thinking about it seriously, then replied, "The gardens are strawberry, but the buildings are lavender."

Ray raised his eyebrows, and Frank just looked yellow and brown. Tyler nearly threw up, black everywhere, as he realised what he'd just said. Shit, he thought, breath coming faster and faster. That was two days in a row he'd accidentally let his colours slip! What was wrong with him??

"The-the buildings are white??" Frank replied, looking at Tyler in a navy way. "R-right, I j-just mean, um…" Tyler trailed, floundering as he searched for an excuse. The boys didn't know what synaesthesia was like Josh; they would hate him if he told them.

They were still giving him navy looks, and Tyler had to remind himself to breathe.

Then Frank announced, "Anyway, what subjects do you have today?" and Tyler felt rose pink rush out of him. "Um…Science, then Sport, then Art and English," he replied, trying to sound sky blue. Ray and Frank compared all their timetables, and announced that Tyler had Sport with Ray, and Science and English with Frank.

This was all so new to Tyler- the normal conversation, the acting like friends. He'd never really had any real friends before; he'd just hung around random groups at his last school and tried to look like he fit it.

He shoved the blue grey thoughts away, feeling his breath hitch. He realised Frank had been talking to him.

"…and I just gotta be sure that you won't dump him."

Tyler frowned. "I, uh…sorry, I spaced out, what were you talking about?" he asked, brownish yellow. Ray smirked, while Frank laughed. "Right. Well, I said, I saw you making heart eyes at Josh yesterday, and I'm definitely not against the idea of the two of you dating. You'd be so cute together. But, again, I need to be sure that you won't break his heart."

Tyler was frozen. Colours exploded- bright orange, black, dark grey, lemon yellow. "I-I'm n-not…gay!" Tyler blurted, feeling himself start to tremble. Frank frowned, looking smoky grey, and moved back as Tyler let out a choked cry and pressed his hands to his face. "I'm not gay," he whispered to himself, feeling himself start to struggle to breathe.

He heard Mr Schutz say something, but he was trapped in his mind. His family would be all red and black if they thought he was gay; they were very religious, and already hated him for his synaesthesia. But- he wasn't gay, he wasn't.

Tyler realised he was lying on the floor, and he tasted blood on his tongue. He was also screaming and flailing. How did that happen??

Hands tried to pick him up or soothe him, but he shoved them away. Nobody should touch him- he didn't deserve to be strawberry. Tears mixed with blood, and he nearly threw up.

Then a smell hit him, familiar and sky blue. He lifted his head slightly, and nearly died as roses flooded him. Josh was kneeling beside him, looking charcoal and lilac. "Tyler- Tyler please, calm down, you're alright, you're fine," he stammered, fists clenching and unclenching.

Tyler let out a sob, feeling his limbs stop trembling, and he curled up in a ball. Warmth encased him in a cocoon as Josh hugged him close, the human contact making Tyler feel slightly more sky blue.

Eventually, Josh released Tyler, as the boy had stopped crying and shaking. Tyler glanced up to see the other students in the homeroom standing a little way away, and Mr Schutz was looking very smoky grey. He didn't like looking at Mr Schutz, so he stared at Josh instead.

Josh's soft lips, and mocha eyes, and pink hair, and muscles, and cinnamon smell, and magenta grin, and-

Tyler's eyes widened, and he felt lemon yellow. He'd never thought this way about a boy before. And Josh-

Tyler suddenly wanted to kiss Josh so bad.

He felt like throwing up.

He-

He was-

Gay.


	4. Mocha

Tyler couldn't tear his gaze away from Josh. The word was flapping around in his head- gay.

"Tyler, are you ok?" Josh asked softly, and Tyler nodded quickly. "Yeah, I'm fine now," he mumbled, getting to his feet and flicking his eyes around the gathered crowd, light green and indigo.

"Mr Schutz, can I take Tyler out for some air?" Josh asked, and the teacher nodded. Josh slung a strawberry arm around Tyler, and led him outside.

Tyler leaned into Josh's warmth as they walked out of the classroom. Even though he'd just had a charcoal realisation, he wasn't on the verge of a breakdown or anything. Somehow, it felt right. Like it just made sense.

"Tyler, what happened?" Josh asked quietly, sitting him down on a bench. Tyler opened his mouth, then frowned as a thought struck him. "Josh, you're not in my homeroom, how did you get there?" he asked, brownish yellow. Josh glanced at him, then replied, "You were, like, screaming my name. You…didn't realise?"

Tyler shook his head slowly as a warm feeling bloomed in his chest, magenta and mocha and light green all at once.

"What happened?" Josh repeated, and Tyler hesitated, dark grey starting to infiltrate the magenta and mocha. He wasn't sure if he was ready to tell Josh just yet. "I just…freaked out," he mumbled. Josh looked steel grey, but let it pass.

"Sorry," Tyler mumbled. "That- that you had to come."

Josh frowned down at him. "Tyler, you don’t have to apologise. I would come every time, I promise," Josh replied firmly, and Tyler ducked his head, pinkish grey. They sat in silence, Tyler encased in Josh's warm strawberry and mocha.

The bell rang, and students started to fill up the hall. Josh stood up, staying with Tyler as he grabbed his lunchbox from his locker and headed towards the bench.

Frank and Ray rushed over as soon as they saw Tyler, plus another boy with a shaved head and tattoos. "Tyler, buddy, you ok??" Frank asked, smoky grey. Tyler nodded gaze on the ground, as he pushed past the boys and sat down at the table. Josh sat down next to him, shooting a heavy look at Frank.

Josh turned to Tyler. "By the way, I haven't even introduced you to everyone!" he announced, and Tyler blinked.

Josh pointed to each of the boys around the table as he listed their names. "That's Dallon and Brendon, who you know, then Ryan, Spencer, Jon, Joe, Frank and Ray, Andy, Gerard, Mikey, Pete and Patrick."

Tyler squinted as he tried to store all the names away. "O-okay," he replied, light green.

Josh chuckled. "I don't expect you to remember all of them, Ty," he laughed.

Tyler froze.

That name.

That name.

"W-what did you c-call me?" he stammered, feeling his hands starting to shake. Josh frowned, looking yellow and brown and smoky grey. "I, uh…you mean Ty? I can call you something different if you want?" he replied.

The way Tyler's nickname came out of Josh's mouth made a shiver run down his spine, but it also brought back memories that were all black and red and blue grey and mulberry purple and all greenish brown.

"I…I don't know," he answered slowly. Josh raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I'll just call you Tyler," he decided.

Tyler was rosy pink, but also mauve. He swallowed. "Okay."

"So, can you tell me more about your synaesthesia? Like, what emotions equal what colour? Just so I can help you," Josh asked. Tyler nodded, mouth quirking up. "Well, there's a lot of colours," he said slowly, and Josh frowned. "Really? Like…ten? More?" he inquired. "More," Tyler answered.

Josh looked soft yellow. "Wow," he said. "So are the colours like, I don't know…guilt? Or panic? Like that?" he asked. Tyler concentrated. Guilt…was when you wished you did something differently, right? That was the colour of grapes. And panic was obvious- bright orange.

"Yeah, like that. Guilt is grape purple, and panic is bright orange," Tyler answered. "I still think it's amazing that you think like this, Tyler," Josh grinned, his tongue poking out between his teeth. Tyler wanted so bad to kiss him.

"And dark green is," he racked his brains, "jealousy, and light greyish white is, um, shyness."

"Could you type it all up and send me a list? That way I can help you talk about how you feel and stuff," Josh offered. Tyler bit his lip, but nodded. Maybe Josh really did want to help.

He distracted himself by munching on his sandwich, letting the peach and violet conversation of all the other boys at the table wash over him like a wave. His face softened into a smile as he gazed at the table, feeling himself wander into his mind.

It was still such a new thought, that Tyler was gay. That he liked guys. But now that it was out in the open, it just made sense.

Tyler had never been in a relationship, with either girls or boys. He'd just assumed he hadn't found the right girl.

Or the right boy, now.

And Tyler couldn't even think about telling his family. In their minds, being gay was so very greenish brown- they would probably disown him or something.

But as Tyler glanced at the boy sitting next to him, bright pink hair and mocha eyes and tongue poking through his teeth as he smiled, he thought that maybe it was worth it.


End file.
